So, here we are… finally… to discuss the tripe that is ‘Fifty Shades Darker’.

It was hard. Hard to do. Schedules were a problem, but then willpower was too. BUT we managed it, and I think we at least talked about it with a great more ease then we watched it with. AND we did it with our first ever third chair!

Our guest, henceforth referred to as ‘Anna’, is a dear friend to us both and brought with her a more ‘lady next door’ perspective to mix in with our combined and decidedly vast sex-nerdity.

It didn’t give us a whole lot, so it’s a shorter episode, but we still definitely had things to say! And Laura may have mixed for me a stronger-than-usual cocktail. Mayhaps.

Join us and maybe save yourself the viewing experience!

You can find the Pinterest album for this episode here.

Sexy Traits! We’ve all got ’em! Right? Right? ….Right?!

Yes. The answer is yes. If you’re thinking maybe no, then you need to look a little harder, cuz damn… they’re there! And we found them! And we’re talking about them on this, our 26th(-ish) episode.

As you may have seen in our social media posts, this episode was supposed to go out last week, but during the editing process I discovered that technical difficulties had crapped all over the last 15 minutes. So, we had to postpone and get together again to record a patch of sorts. The result works, I think, more-or-less… if not quite so charming as the original material.

…And yes, I’m telling myself that our tipsy observations are nothing if not charming… it’s how I sidestep embarrassment during the multiple listens that edits require. Not into the sound of your own voice? Try repeat listens of the same words in the span of a few hours. You will never have a harder time trying not to facepalm at the sound of your own doofy guffaws.

But enough about the traits we side-eye… this episode is all about the traits that butterscotch our puddings (wait, what?! …shhh… shhh… just go with it.) And it’s just sweaters and hobbits and Chris Evans for as far as the eye can see…

No, you’ll like it. Join us.

Also, I have no idea how I managed to forget to use Dylan O’Brien as my example for perfect forearms (How did I do that?! Wine.) I’ve remedied the omission in the Pinterest album for this episode, which you can find it here.

p.s. It was Emma Thompson. Emma THOMPSON. My fucking brain. And… wine.

Welcome to our bonus episode! So, it’s true, this episode is decidedly light on our sex-in-film theme, but we do mention sex and we do mention films… so it’s not totally off target. More than anything though, this episode is an opportunity for us, avid podcast listeners that we are, to share with you, presumably equally avid podcast listeners that you are, Lyra’s recent trip down to Anaheim, CA for the first annual Now Hear This Podcast Festival. It was a fantastic experience, filled with outstanding podcasts and outstanding human beings of all kinds… and since Laura was eager for me to share the experience with her, we figured, hell, why not just go ahead and record it?! You can partake if you wish, or just hold tight for the next ‘real’ episode… which is in the works… it’s up to you.

For those of you interested, the festival was a blast! I got a chance to see Never Not Funny, Comedy Bang Bang, NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour, I Was There Too, Superego, How Did This Get Made, Worst Idea of All Time, and Spontaneanation, along with some great guests including John Ross Bowie and Michael McMillian. There were fantastic new friends to be made (shout out to Melissa, Diana, Mike, Natalie, John, Josh and Freddy… among many others) and a couple of great meet-and-greet opportunities (along with a great opportunity for me to make a complete ass of myself… oh, it’s in there.)

I will take a quick moment to apologize… I didn’t realize until I started editing that a single weekend in So. Cal would transform me from an occasional user of ‘like’ as a verbal crutch, into a full-blown, like, ‘like’-machine. Also, completely overused ‘warm’, ‘delight/delightful’ and ‘lovely’. Though, honestly, if those are the words you’re overusing, you could be far worse off in life.

If you’d like to take a gander at the Pinterest album for this episode, you can find it here.

And if you enjoy this episode, or have your own experience of the festival to share, feel free to drop us a line about it… we’d be happy to hear your tales as well!

Oh wow, guys… it is SO GOOD to be back! A year is far too long to be away from something you love doing. That being said, both of us NotPorn girls were not lazing about in the meantime. Both of us got promotions at our jobs and both of us had positive changes take place in our living arrangements. Laura and her hubby even added a little human grub to their stash of furry kitty children! It’s been eventful to say the least! For all those reasons, we won’t be able to return to our original, ambitious recording schedule. But, that doesn’t mean we aren’t looking forward to all sorts of interesting conversations coming down the pike.

For our majestic return we picked a well-suited topic… sex scenes we return to time and time again. This topic shares some DNA with our first ever episode, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly in that we both chose sex scenes that we return to either because they’re really good, or because they’re just atrocious.

I chose to talk about sex scenes from The Left Bank (Linkeroever – 2008) and Basic Instinct 2 (2006). Laura went with Ghost (1990) and Crimson Peak (2015).

We then branch off into discussing the return of the sex scene itself, and how mainstream television seems to be really taking the reins in bringing the sexy back. Come join us!

You can find the Pinterest album for this episode here.

This week is the continuation and conclusion of our sexy horror television episode, with guest host, Becky. I’m sure there are probably other titles involved with this subject that we simply haven’t seen ourselves… The Hunger (1997-2000), perhaps? Or 666 Park Avenue (2012-2013)? Any input or suggestions on the matter? Head on over to the Contact page… we’d be happy to hear from you!

As for the upcoming episodes? Well, I’m afraid nothing has been made solid just yet… but we’ll keep you posted!

You can find the Pinterest album for this episode here.

We’re back! Though, I’m using ‘we’ loosely, as I’m being joined by a guest host this time around, rather than Laura.

Oh no! Does that mean no more Laura?!

Well, we certainly hope not! It’s true that things have become extremely busy for Laura in recent months… what with full-time work and school and several (yes, several) rather exciting and rewarding changes for her and Toby (all good things, I promise!) But that also means that time for her is now at a premium. We will be working hard to keep her included, but we still have some brainstorming to do on how best to restructure things to make sure that’s the case. We will keep you posted!

As for this week’s episode… in keeping with October, my guest host, Becky and I will be discussing the sexiness to be found in horror-themed television. Horror television shows, much like horror films, are riff with sexuality, so we had a number of titles to discuss… and even at that, I realized we forgot a major one! Apologies to Lost Girl (Syfy) for the egregious omission… and if you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a good one to check out.

As it was, the episode ran a little long, so it actually ended up being split in two… the first part being this week’s episode and the second part will be out next week. So, in case you feel we shorted out on our opening conversation about Hannibal just a bit… show up for next week. We’ll be touching on it again near the end.

You’ll find the Pinterest album for this episode here.

When you’re making a podcast about sex in film, there’s no way to go on for very long without addressing the topic of ‘erotic thrillers’. It’s the genre to end all genres if you want to talk sex in mainstream movies. And there sure is a fuck-ton to choose from. I have an entire book on the subject, The Erotic Thriller in Contemporary Cinema by Linda Ruth Williams. She did a pretty complete look at the genre from the origin of the term to circa 2003… and still managed to miss Beyond Desire (1995). For shame, Mz. Williams, for shame. How could you have overlooked such a gem?! It has a sex scene… with William Forsythe! And Kari “I’m-Not-Ashley-Judd” Wuhrer! Pure gold.

But we decided our best bet for broaching the subject would be to start with a couple of classics. So we chose the Hollywood megastar, Basic Instinct (1992) and the bizarre-to-the-point-of-madness, Color of Night (1994).

And if that doesn’t have you erotically thrilled already… you’re dead inside.

You can find the Pinterest album for this episode here.

S&M. Dominant, Submissive. If Fifty Shades of Grey is what pops into your head when I say these things… well then, shame on you. You deserve a spanking. And not in a sexy way. That film holds all the sadomasochistic impact of being whipped lightly with a silver necktie. And then whining about it.

Here. Have some schooling… I rather like this little excerpt from Wikipedia’s entry for ‘Sadomasochism‘.

“The two words incorporated into this compound, “sadism” and “masochism,” were originally derived from the names of two authors. The term “Sadism” is derived from the name of Marquis de Sade. Not only did he practice sexual sadism, he also wrote novels about these practices (best known is Justine ). The term “Masochism” was named after Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. He practiced masochism and wrote novels expressing his masochistic fantasies.”

Even better is this little bit from the same site, that very well describes an element of Sadomasochism that Laura and I discuss in this episode.

“Richters and colleagues (2007) examined the common belief that people with sadomasochistic sexual interest are damaged or dangerous. Their research found that BDSM is simply a sexual interest, and it is not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with sex.”

Thank you. Thank you very much. As much as Laura and I are not, ourselves, of this particular sexual persuasion (though, without question I skew Dominant, and she, Submissive) we both find the idea that it would require a damaged psyche to find it appealing, deeply irritating.

I think our selections this time around will help combat that viewpoint as well. Both Secretary (2002) and Venus in Fur (2014) will offer plenty of non-S&Mers a delightfully sexy entry into the genre.

For the Pinterest album to go along with this episode, click here.

Masturbation. It’s pretty familiar to most of us. If not, well, you may have some internal obstacles that could probably take a little investigation. Unfortunately, it appears that movie makers may have some of those same internal obstacles that could probably also use a little exploring.

How did men end up with the crap end of the stick on this?! They’d be well-polished professionals in this category and yet they seem to have been handed a paltry array of variations on the matter. When we so often look to film to express the many nuanced facets of being human, being left with such an unbalanced depiction of male masturbation…. well, it’s just so disheartening!

But not nearly as disheartening as the Swiss cheese Laura and I have apparently modeled our memory banks on.

For the record, that Hammer movie I had so much trouble with IS called The Resident (2011) and it stars Hilary Swank, Lee Pace and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. (My deepest apologies to Mr. Morgan for being a total twit about his name.) And yes, she does masturbate… in the goddamn bath, no less! Ridiculous. But also, it’s super wimpy. Also, he masturbates as well, when he’s alone in the bathroom… in the empty bathtub! But they cut away before it gets good. Way to wuss out, Hammer.

And the Colin Hanks movie I could-not-for-the-life-of-me remember the name of is Alone With Her (2007).

But if you were hoping Laura and I had figured out the other one… nope. No idea. So, have fun with that.

Want to enjoy the Pinterest album for this episode? You’ll find it here.

 

The thing about coming of age, is that we all do it. Time doesn’t wait around letting us stay kids until we decide otherwise. It pushes us forward into an aging skin until all the mysteries of adulthood have been firmly handed to us as a big old wad of chewed up lassitude. The strange contradiction of it all is that the events of those turning points in our lives often make up some of the most interesting moments of our history. I’d venture a guess that this probably has something to do with the popularity of the subject in filmmaking. It’s a complex and varied experience that has a magical way of being hugely universal, while at the same time remaining deeply individual and personal.

For Laura and myself, the two films we chose this time around… 1992’s The Lover and 1996’s Stealing Beauty… had a lot of personal connections to our own youthful experiences moving from our teenage years to adulthood, and it was very interesting for us to see how our perspectives on them have changed over the years.

We didn’t originally intend to split the subject into gender editions, but it happened naturally… so expect a ‘Gentleman’s Edition’ to make it’s way down the pike sometime in the not-too-distant future.

You can find the Pinterest album for this episode here.